Already Included #52 – Superheros

By Sarah Nyhan

I can remember being elementary-school-aged and experiencing a specific event where I thought to myself something like, “It’s going to be up to me to take care of myself.”

Fast-forward a few years later when I was in high school and I created a female superhero cartoon character. She was who I aspired to be. I even created and wore a t-shirt with her logo.

Fast-forward to probably shortly after my 18th birthday and I had the logo I created for my female superhero cartoon character tattooed on me. The only tattoo I’ve ever had.

I would save myself.

I believed Jesus for eternal salvation, but probably not much more. Afterall, I incorrectly thought God’s primary emotion was anger. I had pasted the face of other adults onto God. I had projected my thoughts onto God.

I look back in hindsight and see how so many of my decisions were motivated by this drive to save myself. To do my “part”. To figure it all out.

And I hear the words ring back to me, “How’s that been working for ya?”

I look back and see how the best things in my life came as surprises. God-sent surprises. Nothing I orchestrated. Nothing I planned.

And yet it’s been such a long time coming to that realization. Decades. I’m happy for the process even when it has been painful. Maybe I would have taken the truth for granted otherwise. Maybe I wouldn’t really have understood the sweetness of being loved by God had things always been smooth sailing.

Now I am learning to let go. I am putting down my torn and tattered superhero cape. I am living loved. I am relishing the reality that I am a very loved child. That I don’t have to come to my own rescue. That’s it’s ok and to be expected that I do not and will not be able to know or figure everything out.

My motivations for my actions are thankfully changing from fear to following my heart. I can barely type those words after being oppressed in religious errors for so many decades. It feels almost wrong to say. But I experience God for myself these days. So I know it to be true.

Regardless of where you stand on the issues, 2020 has exposed the fact that many of us may have been unconsciously in the habit of defaulting to fear-based decisions. Which situations have we stayed in due to fear? Which actions have we taken out of fear?

You’d think my own track record would be enough motivation, but lately I have become aware that I have my first name to thank for the continuous reminder of how well the fear-based decisions worked for the Biblical Abraham and Sarah. Among many other recorded testimonies.

To be sure, there is never any condemnation. And Trinity never does abandonment. Holy Spirit is only ever and always in the healing business. They always go to rescue the little lambs no matter how far they wander.

But I am really tired of circling this desert of self-sufficiency and fear. How about you? I want to get on with Life. I want to experience all there is to experience. I want to stop giving any power to lies.

My prayer for 2021 and beyond is that we will all more deeply experience and know the perfect love of Trinity. So that we will be free. So that we and our world and our relationships will be healed. I think it is ours for the taking once we realize who and Whose we are and always have been.

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Already Included #50 – Divided

By Sarah Nyhan

I’m tired of giving power to fear. I’m tired of not including Trinity.

Maybe we were Created to receive Love. Maybe it’s that simple.

Maybe there is much more available to us than we realize, than we experience, because we are pathologically obsessed with our weaknesses versus resting in the absolute strength of who and Whose we really are.

What if we felt so secure in our origin and true identity that we stepped out of the boat and onto the water? What if we actually didn’t sink? What if we focused on what Jesus thinks of us versus making gods of the opinions of others and even ourselves?

What if we are the only ones that are ever coming to save us and all of Creation is groaning for us to WAKE UP!? All of Creation waits expectantly like a parent of a toddler; saying, “You can do it! You can do it! Almost there, c’mon, don’t be scared. You got this! Trinity is right here.”

What if all of heaven and Creation combined are pregnant with the expectation of being able to celebrate as we step fully into our divinity? As sons and daughters of The Divine. Kids who know their King, their Abba, and the truth of Who they belong to?

What if healing is ours for the taking? Jesus asked, “Do you want to be healed?”

What if there is no battle outside? What if the war is already won and we just need to realize it in our hearts and minds?

What if this is nothing more than a mirror (exposure therapy)? Reflecting the result of focusing on our fears versus who we always could have been and still can be?

What if we were totally secure, loved, and cared for? Would we make different decisions? Would we choose to give our power away?

We are divided in our minds, in our hearts. The outside echoes the inside. We are too long scared little children intimidated by other scared little children.

Who is your Father? Who is your Mother? Who showed us that there is nothing to be afraid of?

Is this really all there is? Is this really all we can ever be? I wager we aren’t even close. I wager we have only just begun, only just started.

The fight is only on the inside. Who will stand up? Who will run to Papa? Who will risk taking Trinity at Their Word?

Did God die or will we come aLIVE?

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Already Included #49 – Judgement

By Sarah Nyhan

Interesting that God says to not even judge ourselves. If we judge others then it might not be God, but our own judgement that will come back and haunt us so to speak. What if I stopped judging myself? What would that even look like? Maybe it would involve giving Jesus every bit of shame, disappointment, and even anger towards myself. Asking Him what He thinks of it all.

Sometimes when I ask God for forgiveness, I feel like He says, “Stop”; that it never was, never is, and never will be about appeasing Him. He is the kind of parent who knew what He was getting into before we even showed up. He is not disappointed. He does not operate out of ego. He has nothing to prove. He knows who we are. His love for us is never in question. He never has a doubt. It has only ever been our perception of Him and ourselves that Trinity is ever healing. Collectively and individually.

Our hearts know when we see true love. We feel it in the part of us that sings apart from knowledge and arguments. The part of us that rejoices when a baby is born, a dog is rescued, or a long-awaited loved one returns home.

Will we forgive ourselves? I wager we don’t even know how. Again, Jesus says we are welcome to bring Him everything. He will sort it out. He will open our eyes and hearts. He will wash us clean of all the mess we and others have put upon us. He will show us how to receive His love. As we allow ourselves to rest, others will feel the difference without our having to force them to submit to any postured authority.

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Already Included #31 – You

(This content is also available at https://youtu.be/HjIqtXoA-yY)

By: Sarah Nyhan

I think I know what Saul/Paul was doing for those first few years after his conversion. I think he had to go off and be by himself while everything he thought he knew fell away and was replaced by truth. Less of an intellectual exercise. More of a rebirth in the sense of so thouroughly experienced that every single cell is saturated with this new real life. Actually lived and alive versus simply conceptualized.

This is what has been happening with me. To use Paul Young’s analogy, I didn’t realize I had constructed and others had helped me build such a monstrosity of a facade. My entire identity was totally tied to what I did, what I had, and what I thought I knew. Versus truth. All of the facade is now being burned away.

I was ready to jump in and repeat the same old formula with this new-to-me “already included” knowledge. But I feel like God is saying, “No, baby girl. We’re going to do things totally different this time. I appreciate so much your heart and enthusiasm, but I have everyone else. What I want us to focus on for now, for this time, is YOU. You are important also. Your healing and wholeness is the priority right now. What eventually overflows will organically be shared with others in due time.”

This is TOTALLY different than the experience modeled for me by the church as an incorporated entity in society. What do most churches do that I have experienced? They have not been hospitals for the soul, even though they claim such. Instead they have been like labor camps. Oh sure, there is initial love-bombing if you are considered an outsider. But once you’ve converted then it’s all about what you can do for them, dressed up as what you can do for “god”. And then the only acceptable answer is: always more. To them, Jesus’ sacrifice was not enough; you also must die.

This is my new litmus test for truth: are you offering me anything? Are you invested in me as a person? Is relationship with me a priority? Or are you just doing the same ol’ dance with new clothes? You know the one. In its extreme form it looks like what we think of most televangelists. Although more subtle and maybe more insidious forms are likely manifesting in most local church entities. In my experience.

And although the damage is the same no matter the motivation, I suspect the great majority of pastors and preachers start out with absolutely fabulous intentions. I really believe that. Maybe even some seasoned folks still think this is the right way. I mean, it’s all they have ever known. Like me, it’s all that was ever modeled for them from the pulpit.

Though I suspect at some point, as I experienced, you encounter a crisis. If you pursue truth hard and long enough then you must eventually, even in short time, face a crisis. Where the religious machine fails and your heart has a choice to make. I can’t tell you what to do. That is between God and you. But eventually you’ll have a decision to make. Is your trust in the religious machine or is your trust truly in God?

And really, to be even more specific, is your trust in yourself or in God? Again, I never saw it that clearly in the beginning. But over and over and over, it’s been made clear to me that is the core problem. Religion says I am responsible. That I can’t really trust God all the way.

Let me tell you a story. A true story. The other day some people from the city came out to the property I manage. They wanted to cut some trees near the powerlines. Caught off guard, in the heat of the moment, I was convinced by the city workers to approve them completely removing the trees versus only trimming them. Later when I was not under their influence, I looked at the trees and regretted my approval. But I thought that it was too late to change my mind.

As I stressed about this, one day they entered the property while I was gone. However, the property owners just “happened” to also show up at the same time for a rare site visit. The property owners were able to speak with the city workers and save the trees. All without any help from me.

This is our God. Who knows that I mess up. And knows that I don’t know how to fix my mess up. And He cares for me. So He somehow makes the property owners show up at the last minute and save the trees. This is a God I can trust. To be way bigger than me.

This is the God that is interested in me. Not just what I can do. Not just what I can give. Whose priority is relationship with me. As long as it takes. Not so that I can do anything for Him.

I was reminded this week of the verse in the Bible where it talks about a good man leaving an inheritance for his family. Not the other way around. Who among us has even ever experienced that? With our biological or church parents?

And again, I don’t think most know any better. Just passing on what was passed to them.

But how different would it look if we cared more about healing the person and being in relationship with the person versus setting them up to be another cog in the religious machine? Versus stripping them of everything they can possibly give? Fleecing them. Until they can’t take it anymore and run away out of desperation. For their lives.

All I am saying is there is another way. All things work for good. We get there one way or another. If not in this life, then I am sure we will see clearly during whatever comes after. But why wait that long? We can choose life now. Jesus came not to build another religious machine. He came to give us life, and life more abundant!!! Right now. The kingdom of heaven is at hand – right now. Jesus came and showed us what we have been missing all along. What is available to us right now. Without having to jump through hoops of performance or poverty in all its various forms.

You absolutely will encounter loads and loads and loads and loads of trouble. But it will be different trouble. It will break your heart versus breaking your back. In that sense, there will be some dying. Of your ego mainly. As everything that is false is burned up. That is a dying without counting Jesus’ sacrifice as incomplete or insufficient.

In case you’ve never read anything I’ve written before, I am not talking about a legal or accounting transaction. Merely that WE needed to kill Jesus, the Son of God. So we would finally have proof that no matter what we can think of or do, God is always and forever for us. The resurrection proved that God is not the least bit intimidated by or ever against us. As individuals. Even as He drives out ever last bit of hell that we hold onto in our blindness.

God doesn’t destroy us.

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Already Included #30 – Good

(This content is also available at https://youtu.be/2YTXv7QURW8)

By: Sarah Nyhan

You can be right or you can be in relationship?

Maybe. Still figuring this one out.

Probably it’s more like one of my favorite quotes from Jane Austen: “You have drawn two pretty pictures; but I think there may be a third – a something between the do-nothing and the do-all.”

In any event, I am learning that my old way of labeling people as merely good or bad is not working anymore after letting this already included message sink in. Probably it never worked. I remember a former friend previously saying, “You’re so damn black and white, Sarah.”

I have realized that unfortunately people who do the most heinous things can also do very good things. And vice versa – those who are generally known to do mostly good things can do something really hurtful every now and then. This is being human.

I thought before that some people were good and some people were bad. You just had to find out who was who. Well, I’ll tell you how far that gets: eventually you end up totally alone and even loathing yourself.

I think everyone will disappoint you at some point. I heard I think Russell Brand say that expectations are akin to fantasies. And I have been guilty for decades of holding people hostage to my expectations/fantasies.

Now that is not to say that there isn’t good and bad behavior. Although even this has been challenged for me. I was raised to believe that certain cultural norms were good or bad. I have had to learn that just isn’t so. If a male wasn’t raised to open and hold a door for a woman, that doesn’t mean he is a bad person. That is only a cultural norm. Another example is even leaving the toilet seat up. Or sending thank you cards. Or not cutting in front of someone in traffic. All of these are just cultural norms. As America is diversified by people from all over the world, I have had to come to the realization that the world I grew up in has changed and many people are not going to do the things I was raised to do. But that doesn’t make them bad people. Or good people for that matter. I could continue on that subject, but not today.

Yet we know there are truly some good and bad behaviors. For instance, I’d say across the world humans know it is good to provide for children and elders. People across the world know it is bad to hit someone – especially if they are the weaker party. People know it’s bad to murder. Etc.

But there is a whole lot out there that I have had to take off the table. Did you know a person isn’t bad if they don’t go to church? And not good if they go to church every day either. Etc. You get the idea.

But that being said, why are we so compelled to label people as good or bad? I guess I can only speak for myself. For me, I think in truth, I am more so attempting to categorize people as safe or unsafe. And that opens a huge can of worms, gets to the heart of the matter.

This might change in the future, but for now I’ve determined that no one is categorically completely safe. This realization can initally lead to a lot of panic, anxiety, and depression. But I’ve learned that the more I accept this human state in all of us – the more personal responsibility I take for my own safety. This is opposed to failing in attempting to make everyone else responsible for my safety.

Now again, this is another can of worms. I would like to clarify that children are not responsible for their own safety. It’s the responsibility of ALL adults to keep children safe until they can do so for themselves. The same with others who need protection: the blind and those who are are challenged in other ways that leave them vulnerable in ways where they are unable to do for themselves.

But at some point most of us have the capability to keep ourselves out of a lot of trouble. But this means standing up, claiming our power, and saying no. Something that I have found is not taught or encouraged in group situations, including a lot of churches.

We can go on and on about #metoo. I think the conversation is very helpful. But women, at some point we have to stop tolerating the bullshit we accept from these men. We do ourselves and the rest of women a diservice when we allow a man to disrespect any of us in any way. I am first to say guilty as charged.

Hear me out: if I go down a dark alley at night in a mini skirt and get raped – it was NEVER my fault. I should be able to walk down a street naked and not get attacked. The attacker is the only one to blame.

But if I hear my girlfriend has a guy who cheated on her, hit her, and stole her stuff – and I am trying to get his attention – shame on him still – but shame on me also!

These are extreme examples to prove a point. But this plays out in everyday situations. How many times does our gut tell us something and we ignore it? Because the person looked normal enough or played the part. And then on the opposite side, we take this to unnecessary extremes and discriminate against people for simply how they look.

It gets even more complicated when you realize some people are safe only to a point. How do you balance interacting with them without encouraging them any further? Realizing they aren’t good or bad. They are just human – and yet every one of all the billions of us are uniquely different.

What does this look like day to day? Mainly what hills do we want to die on? What is important and why? Is someone actually being bad to me or is it my ego wanting to scream, “Off with their heads!”? Am I scared? Are there other options?

Nobody can tell YOU how to answer these questions. And the answers will probably change over time. You do better when you know better. Experience and life teach us new lessons every day. So we are always growing.

What this looks like for me now is setting my own standards for the first time in my life. Versus always looking to others for approval or direction. And not apologizing for that. Yet, being prepared to accept whatever consequences may ensue.

It also looks like allowing certain people back into my life but only to certain extents. You don’t give your car keys to a toddler. In like manner, people now have to earn my trust. Whereas before I gave them way too much benefit of the doubt and unfortunately some people knew and abused that.

I blame the church in some sense for this. I attended a church that taught love believes the best to the point where it allowed opportunistic wolves to fleece the flock at times. Or we preach forgiveness way past the point of again serving up the flock on a plate for wolves to devour.

There has to be wisdom and balance. It would be so nice to just be able to identify all the “bad guys” by a purple stripe on their palm or something. But life is way way way more complicated than that.

I am finding I have to reevaluate my thinking on everything and everyone all the time. People change and people have their limits. Even all of our cells are replaced every so often. Just because someone was doing great last year doesn’t mean they can’t be pushed to a different level this year.

Dr. Bruce Wauchope does a lot of work on explaining how our minds are corrupted in framing our worlds in terms of the good/bad tree. And I agree. He does a much better job of explaining this than I can do now. I recommend checking out his talks on YouTube.

But in the meantime, my thinking is changing from “Is this person good or bad?” to “Do I like what this person is doing? Why or why not? And if not, what am I going to do about it?”

To insist on labeling people as good or bad in my experience leads to the death of all my relatationships. This is probably a huge shock to those still living in the paradigms of thinking some people are in/safe with God and some people aren’t.

It’s “easier” to ask a few questions as a litmus test. That doesn’t require connection or relationship. That doesn’t require being present or opening ourselves up. That doesn’t require taking each new person as for who they are individually versus categorizing them.

To her credit, my ex who had a devil tattoo is still to this day one of the best people I’ve known in terms of almost everything. For sure she had her faults, but I lament dragging her to church one time and harassing her to go a million other times. I lament trying to “convert” her. For all her faults, she had real love, love we see in Christ, down more than 99% of people I know. Not a pushover either. She knew how to say no.

A real shame for all of us who sat in church for mutiple days a week year after year, decade after decade and it never changed our hearts. We thought all we had to do was say the right things. Never really risking real engagement.

There is so much more to unpack on this subject, but that’s all I have time for today.

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Already Included #24 – Time Well Spent

(This content is also available at https://youtu.be/z7-J7Je1dAk)

By: Sarah Nyhan

I had an amazing thought today: I have time to food prep this weekend for my work week next week. Do you know why this is an amazing thought? I never had time before. I mean, I had time, I just didn’t realize it.

This might seem like a little thing to those who are used to freedom. But this is huge for me. When I was thinking about this today, I realized that I spent so much time before doing religious activities that the activities of living were put to the side except maybe the most necessary.

At the peak, I was attending a church where I could go to:

-a prayer breakfast once a month on Monday morning hosted by the pastor’s wife

-a Bible study for women on Monday night

-a mandatory “Family Night” Bible study for a “ministry” I first volunteered at and then worked for

-a church service on Wednesday nights

-another Bible study on Thursday mornings for women

-a church service on Friday nights

-a prayer meeting on Saturday mornings

-a class every other Saturday morning at the church

-a prayer group once a month on a Saturday night

-three available church services on Sunday mornings. I’d usually attend one and “serve” during another. This was encouraged from the pulpit.

-a class on Sunday nights at the church

-once a year retreats for the women

-once a year luncheon for the women

-once a year off-site baptism

-holiday and other special gatherings

-and then to the extreme, when I volunteered/worked at the “ministry”, I was supposed to lead a Bible study every morning except Sunday

Not to meantion my own private time of study I was supposed to be doing. And the innumberable social gatherings that usually incorporated times of Bible study and prayer.

Do you see now?

For the most part, I enjoyed spending a lot of time with that church family. The great majority of whom do not initiate contact with me anymore after I “walked away”. But there was a measure of pressure from the pulpit and the community at large to spend a lot of time at the church or doing church things. Some might even call it an excessive amount of time.

The insidiousness of this was that it was somewhat implied that the time you spent doing these things was time you were spending for Jesus. And while that may be true for specific individuals, I don’t think there was enough encouragement to go out and actually live in the real world. I rather experienced a lot of pressure to pull people into spending more time in and with the church doing church things.

And where that might be fine for some people, I felt condemnation from some people as if going “out into the world” to pursue non-church related things indicated I wasn’t really that serious about Jesus. Or if I wanted to spend time away from the church and church people doing God-forbid, fun social activities or even doing nothing, not even talking about God, then I was kinda not “living for the kingdom” if I at least didn’t have the agenda of trying to convert these people I’d be spending time with. As if simply enjoying the company of another is not enough. Is not love.

Eventually I broke. I was near suicidal. I was sooo tired. There was always someone else asking me to sign up for one more thing. I was into the business of saving souls and I should be taking every opportunity to do so. For the most part well-intentioned, I have no doubt. But my issue to this day is that even though it was preached over and over again to “just be with Jesus”, it seemed that there was non-stop pressure in regards to that not being enough. Real Christians were supposed to “work for Jesus”.

Oh my gosh, I express to you how tired I was. Even now, as I’ve spent the last five years detoxing from all that activity, I still struggle on a daily basis to be ok with “it is finished”. Paul Young refers to it as an addiction to basically “doing something great for God”. What a new perspective to let God do the great things and me just learn how to live loved?!

It’s felt so different that I’ve struggled with guilt as I learn to do simple things like watch a movie that isn’t about God. Or go to a restaurant simply because I enjoy the food. Only this month did Is spend an hour or so making some art just because I wanted to – without an agenda.

Sometimes I would sit in that church and feel like I couldn’t breathe. It was like every last cell of survival, of fight or flight, was SCREAMING at me to get out of there. Instead of listening to my gut, I’d spend a significant part of the time during the service rationalizing in my mind why I was there.

I remember one time I had a brazen act of rebellion a few years ago after I had already started “walking away”. I was driving to that church and either when I arrived or shortly before I arrived, I just kept driving! I decided Jesus wouldn’t be mad at me if I went on a drive and enjoyed the nice weather and His Creation with Holy Spirit. I just drove and listened to music and enjoyed the scenery. Christian worship music, by the way; I wasn’t yet free inside my mind enough to even consider that God might appreciate Hall & Oates, some rap music, a Led Zeppelin riff, or my favorite EDM jams. On a Sunday morning at that?! The audacity of me.

It really was a huge deal for me. I remember how proud I was of myself that I finally got the courage to do that. That I finally realized a drive in the country was as much worship as sitting in a church service singing hymns and being preached at for two hours.

Even only a few months ago, I gave myself permission to not go to church so I could go down to the water and enjoy the sun on a Sunday. Again, another huge victory in my mind.

Not hosting a Bible study at my house or attending one, not having any agenda to convert people, not going to a church service at least once a week (preferably on Sunday) – all these things would have been cause for concern for my salvation years ago. Maybe not actually spoken, but surely suspected.

I had a friend tell me a few months ago that I have changed. She told me that I used to stop and have everyone pray all the time. She told me that I used to quote Bible verses all the time. She said that I don’t do that anymore.

She even said that when I did all of that before, it used to really turn her off. But she said now she sees that it was the right thing to do. And basically that I am wrong for not doing those things anymore. She said that having me in her home now is like letting someone do cocaine at her dining room table!! I kid you not.

My response to her was that I “pray” all the time now. But it’s private 99% of the time. I don’t feel the need to “bless the food” officially out loud. I don’t feel the need to stop everyone and force them to pray with me. I actually prefer to wait for consent. So that it’s two coming together versus one being dragged.

I don’t feel the need to quote the Bible all the time anymore. If you haven’t noticed, God is still my favorite subject to talk about. But I now try again to wait for the consent of the other person before I go there in conversation. And I save the rest of the words dying to get out of me for this blog. 🙂 I told my friend that I prefer for my actions to speak louder than my words as I travel through my day to day life now. This is revolutionary from where we came from. But total freedom for me now as I realize I am only participating in Holy Spirit revealing God to everyone all the time. God’s got this. Really. I can just be a nice, decent human being with a personality and interests (GASP!) and God is right there in the middle of it all. Weaving people together when they need each other. Sometimes with words, many times not. A smile, a helping hand without making the person a project, even letting someone cut in front of you in traffic sometimes – all of these things are love. All of these things matter. All of these things feel more worthwhile than most of the “ministry” I did before.

There is a time and place for study. I’ve been blessed with like-minded individuals who meet to basically share our adventures in Christ. This feels so refreshing. Pretty much how I’m deciding it is supposed to be. More a sharing than a show. Where everyone is important. Not just those “in ministry”.

My friend who said I wasn’t praying and quoting Bible scriptures enough – we have only talked once in the past five months because I initiated. This grieves me terribly. I wish I could lift the veil and chains off all those I love. Believe me, I’ve tried. That’s what I would have busied myself with in the old way.

After being rejected over and over and over again, I’ve come to the place where it has to be God or nothing. Like with anything else that seems to matter so much. It’s revolutionary for me to trust my loved ones with Him. To let go. To go live my life. To spend time on a Sunday doing meal prep. To even have the time on a Sunday to do meal prep.

I write this for those that understand. I get it. The hard part is sometimes not being able to share how huge these shifts in the mind are with people who understand. So I do this for me and I do this for you.

As someone I love, value, and respect very much often reminds me: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” There’s a Bible verse for you. 🙂 Galations 5:1

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Already Included #23 – Values

(This content is also available at https://youtu.be/vSY67xb55J8)

By Sarah Nyhan

I’m learning recently that just because I have the same spiritual beliefs as someone, that doesn’t mean we have the same values. I think many times in the past, I’ve excused people’s behaviors because they were in the same group of “believers” as me.

Often that group was disproportionately smaller than the general population. There is more to lose in many senses when your community is small. You might accept behavior that you would not otherwise accept if your community were larger.

This can lead to people protecting and defending perpetrators of abuse. I mean, really; let’s call it what it sometimes can be. You hate to think that some people relish the opportunity to exploit the desperation of a smaller group of passionate people. But we see this time and time again across history. Sometimes with lethal or other devastating results by the time those in control have run their course or those in the rank and file finally gather the courage to start anew.

I think one of the most important things I’ve learned with this “already included” message is that no one has the market cornered on spirituality. There are no gurus or prophets in the exclusive sense.

There are gifts, for sure. There is experience also. But without love and true communion with God, I’ve observed people holding onto yesterday’s manna (i.e. revelations) – which then leads to an ugliness taking over, usually with ego at the helm.

We should have our relationship with God as our first and maybe only authority? And then allow others to supplement that relationship when appropriate? We are each able to go to God anytime every day and get a whole new batch of manna, a whole new spiritual refueling, whole new insight. This is relationship. Versus the detachment of abdicating that role to another as intermediary.

I find most often those people who actually speak into my life, do so unknowingly. Those experiences do not feel heavy and conflicted like when another struts around with self-imposed authority, well-meaning or not.

So what does this mean pratically? A few things.

First, unfortunately I’ve had to accept the fact that just because someone believes in this new-to-me “already included” message, that does not mean they have been changed by it in the ways of heart matters. And for me to excuse their hurtful behaviors because of their beliefs is something I do not want to do anymore. This takes courage as the physical “already included” community I am aware of numbers less than several dozens of people. Much less locally.

There is also grief. Especially for someone like myself who has spent so many years operating out of a different paradigm that left me so weighted down for so many years. To understand this “already included” message is literally the best thing I’ve ever known in my life. The first real freedom. Every.single.thing has changed almost. Always for the better.

So to see another from maybe a less oppressive paradigm claim the “already included” message but not value it practically as lived out in relationship – feels like such a loss! It’s as if I discovered a stash of gold and shared it with others. They then took it from me but just stored it in their houses and did nothing with it. Maybe they even put it away for safe-keeping, but it means nothing in the experiential sense. For all practical purposes.

I find it takes longer than I’d like to accept this reality in those I’d like to behave otherwise. And yet, I’d be remiss if I focused on everyone else and neglected analyzing my own behavior in this regard.

The interesting thing is that I am finding plenty of people that don’t have any interest in this “already included” message or Christianity or any spiritual discussion for that matter. And yet, they share my same values even if our beliefs differ. This is so challenging for me to wrap my head around practically even as this makes total sense intellectually.

If all are included, then we each have varying degrees of connectedness with our Creator and manifest that in different ways. What others may lack in the more easly-recognizable spiritual stances and practices, they may make up for implicitly in their authentic actions. Motivated by a heart not numbed by theological addictions. Then are they not behaving with actual spirituality? Possibly even more so than those who would spend hours and years pressuring them to convert and say the “right” things and join the “right” groups, sing the “right” songs, etc. Oh man, this stuff gets messy.

I ask myself as a single person, what matters more? To the extreme – the man who actually values me but has no interest in talking about God? Or the man who can say and even knows all the “right” things, but only values me for what I can do versus who I am?

I am hopeful that the best of both worlds exists out there somewhere for me. The thought of being with someone who values me but is uninterested in God is very sad to me; yet I’d probably choose that option over the alternative described above if I had to make that choice,

But I face this issue not only in terms of a spouse. Suddenly I realize those in the organized corporate church might actually not be the friends I elevated them to be merely by association. There may be others “outside” that actually value me more. Actually treat me better.

I’m almost sick of words these days. For all our talking, I think we could use a lot more doing. Not to condemn others. But just to say, c’mon fam – we can do better. And maybe holding each other to higher standards is part of that.

As always, I have more than enough of my own work to do and keep me busy.

God help us.

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